Create successful relationships God’s way

Relationships form the cornerstone of human existence, shaping our interactions and experiences. For Christians, how we relate to various individuals holds great significance, reflecting our faith and impacting those around us. In this blog post, we will show you how to create successful relationships God’s way. We’ll delve into God’s instructions for navigating relationships with believers, nonbelievers, false teachers, enemies of Christ, family members, authority figures, and both stronger and weaker believers.

Before we begin, it’s important to know that the biblical principles presented here are intended for those who believe in Jesus Christ by faith alone. God made it possible for sinners to be fully reconciled to Himself. Finding peace with God is the first step you need to take to develop healthy relationships with God and other people.

Loving God is the greatest commandment

At the heart of the Christian’s relationship with the Lord is a deep and abiding love for God. This love leads to a strong desire to know Him more, to seek His presence, and to prioritize Him above all else.

The Christian’s relationship with the Lord should be characterized by love, worship, prayer, obedience, trust, intimacy, gratitude, transformation, abiding, and hope. These elements work together to deepen our connection with God, shape our character, and guide us on our spiritual journey.

Loving our neighbor as ourselves

Our character matters to God. Many of God’s commands are intended to produce godliness in us. As others see these qualities, it should strike them as an unatural goodness that they don’t possess themselves. This, in turn, may lead them to learn more about the source of that goodness, which only God can impart.

Loving others expresses our love for God

“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'” Jesus highlights the inseparable connection between our love for God and our love for others.

Treating others with love and compassion is a direct expression of our love for God (Matthew 22:37-39).

Love can play a significant role in overcoming relational challenges. Here’s how:

1. Emotional Support: Love provides a strong foundation of emotional support. When people love each other, they’re more willing to listen, empathize, and offer comfort during challenging times.
2. Motivation to Improve: Love motivates individuals to work on themselves and the relationship. When you deeply care for someone, you’re more inclined to put in the effort to overcome obstacles and become a better person.
3. Empathy and Understanding: Love encourages empathy and understanding. When you love someone, you’re more likely to try to see things from their perspective and approach conflicts with a desire to find common ground.
4. Patience and Tolerance: Love helps build patience and tolerance. You’re more willing to give the other person the time and space they need to work through their issues, rather than rushing to judgment or frustration.
5. Building Resilience: Love makes a relationship more resilient. When challenges arise, the bond forged by love can help both people weather the storm and emerge stronger on the other side.
6. Fostering Intimacy: Love promotes emotional and physical intimacy. The closeness that comes from a loving relationship can make it easier to navigate difficulties and share vulnerabilities.

Showing grace and forgiveness to others

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Paul reminds believers of the importance of demonstrating kindness, forgiveness, and compassion in their interactions, mirroring the grace they have received from God.

Here are some ways forgiveness can help you overcome relational challenges:

1. Healing Wounds: Forgiveness allows both people to heal from past hurts and mistakes. It releases the negative emotions tied to those events, helping the relationship move forward without carrying the burden of resentment.
2. Rebuilding Trust: Forgiving someone shows that you’re willing to give them a chance to make amends and rebuild trust. It’s a crucial step in repairing the damage caused by betrayal or dishonesty.
3. Enhancing Communication: Forgiveness promotes open and honest communication. When both people are willing to forgive and be forgiven, they’re more likely to talk about their feelings, concerns, and needs.
4. Promoting Growth: Forgiving each other allows room for personal and relational growth. It acknowledges that people make mistakes and can learn from them, leading to better choices in the future.
5. Reducing Conflict: Letting go of grudges and resentment decreases the likelihood of constant conflicts. It creates a more peaceful and harmonious environment where both people can focus on problem-solving.

Practical steps to take to cultivate love and forgiveness

For cultivating love:

1. Show Appreciation: Express gratitude for the little things the other person does. Simple thank-yous can reinforce the sense of care and appreciation in your relationship.
2. Quality Time: Spend quality time together, engaging in activities you both enjoy. This helps you connect and create shared memories.
3. Effective Communication: Regularly communicate about your feelings, needs, and desires. Honest and open conversations build strong relationships.
4. Acts of Kindness: Small acts of kindness can go a long way. Show your love through thoughtful gestures and surprises.
5. Physical Affection: Physical touch toward your spouse, such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands, is a powerful way to express love and connection.
6. Listen Actively: When the other person talks, give them your full attention and actively listen. This shows that you value their thoughts and feelings.
7. Supportive Environment: Be a supportive presence in the other person’s life. Encourage their goals and provide emotional support during challenging times.
8. Apologize and Forgive: Apologize when you’re in the wrong and forgive when the other person apologizes. These actions demonstrate your commitment to maintaining a loving relationship.
9. Respect Differences: Embrace the fact that you and the other person are individuals with your own perspectives. Respect each other’s differences and learn from them.
10. Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate special occasions, achievements, and milestones together. It’s a way to acknowledge the importance of each other.

For cultivating forgiveness:

1. Acknowledge Hurt Feelings: Recognize when you or the other person are hurt by something that has happened. Don’t dismiss or downplay your feelings.
2. Communicate Openly: Have an honest conversation about what happened, how it made each of you feel, and why it was hurtful. Effective communication is crucial for understanding the situation fully.
3. Express Remorse: If you’ve done something that hurt the other person, express genuine remorse and apologize sincerely. If the other person is the one who hurt you, listen to their apology with an open heart.
4. Practice Empathy: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their perspective. This can help you see the situation from their point of view and make forgiveness easier.
5. Set Boundaries: If necessary, discuss and establish boundaries to prevent similar situations in the future. Clear boundaries can prevent future misunderstandings and conflicts.
6. Let Go of Resentment: Choose to release the negative feelings you’re holding onto. This doesn’t mean forgetting, but it means deciding not to let those feelings control your actions and thoughts.
7. Focus on the Positive: Remind yourself of the positive aspects of your relationship. Remembering the good times and qualities you treasure about the other person can make forgiveness more natural.
8. Give It Time: Forgiveness might not happen overnight. Be patient with yourself and the other person as you both work through the process.

Humility that looks to the interests of others

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). This passage calls believers to selflessness and humility, prioritizing the well-being and needs of others.

Helping the poor and needy

The Bible contains numerous verses that emphasize the importance of helping the poor and people in need. This theme is present throughout both the Old and New Testaments, highlighting the significance of compassion, generosity, and social justice. Here are a few key passages:

Old Testament verses on showing kindness to the poor:

Proverbs 19:17 “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done.”

Proverbs 14:21 “Whoever oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.”

Isaiah 58:10 “…and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”

Deuteronomy 15:11 “There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land.”

New Testament verses on showing kindness to the poor:

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.'”

Luke 3:11 “John answered, ‘Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.'”

Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

James 2:14-17 “What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

These verses underscore the Christian principles of compassion, empathy, and active engagement in alleviating the suffering of those in need. They emphasize that showing love and generosity to the less fortunate is not only a moral obligation but also an expression of one’s faith and devotion to God.

Relationships with other believers: love and unity

Our journey together in love and unity

As followers of Christ, our interactions with fellow believers are to be marked by love, unity, and mutual edification. Scripture emphasizes living in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16), bearing one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), and maintaining the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3). Jesus taught that our love for one another would be a defining characteristic of our faith (John 13:34-35).

How to love “one another”

The phrase “one another” is derived from the Greek word allelon which means “one another, each other, mutually, reciprocally.” These occurrences in the Bible are specific commands teaching us how (and how not) to relate to one another. Obedience to those commands is imperative. It forms the basis for all true Christian community, and has a direct impact on our witness to the world (John 13:35).

The positive “one another” commands:

• Love one another (John 13:34 – This command occurs at least 16 times)
• Be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
• Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10)
• Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
• Build up one another (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
• Be likeminded towards one another (Romans 15:5)
• Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
• Admonish one another (Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16)
• Greet one another (Romans 16:16)
• Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
• Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
• Bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)
• Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:2, 32; Colossians 3:13)
• Be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13)
• Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25)
• Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
• Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (Ephesians 5:19)
• Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21, 1 Peter 5:5)
• Consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)
• Look to the interests of one another (Philippians 2:4)
• Bear with one another (Colossians 3:13)
• Teach one another (Colossians 3:16)
• Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
• Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
• Exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13)
• Stir up [provoke, stimulate] one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)
• Show hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
• Employ the gifts that God has given us for the benefit of one another (1 Peter 4:10)
• Clothe yourselves with humility towards one another (1 Peter 5:5)
• Pray for one another (James 5:16)
• Confess your faults to one another (James 5:16)

The negative “one another” commands:

• Do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9)
• Stop passing judgment on one another (Romans 14:13)
• If you keep on biting and devouring each other…you’ll be destroyed by each other (Galatians 5:15)
• Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:26)
• Do not slander one another (James 4:11)
• Don’t grumble against each other (James 5:9)

Guidance for believers with differing convictions

As a family of believers, we encounter varying levels of maturity and convictions. In Romans 14:1-4, we find guidance for believers with differing convictions. The “stronger” in faith should avoid looking down on the “weaker” and vice versa. Our differences, rather than causing division, can lead to conversations that foster understanding and love.

1 Corinthians 8:9-12 underscores the importance of not causing our freedom to cause those with weaker convictions to stumble. Love should guide our actions, as we consider the impact on others’ faith and conscience. Our freedoms should not come at the cost of damaging relationships.

In 1 Corinthians 10:23-24, we learn that not everything that is lawful is beneficial. The stronger believers should focus on building up and edifying the weaker ones, prioritizing the well-being of our fellow believers over exercising our own freedoms.

How to respond when a fellow believer sins

There are four steps in Matthew 18:15-17 that guides individuals and churches as they work toward restoring a sinning brother or sister in Christ. When a brother or sister strays, a valuable treasure is lost, and the church should not be content until he or she is restored. So, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. In other words, if you see your brother ensnared by sin go to him alone and show him his sin and keep this conversation between yourselves. 

But if he does not listen to you, your task is not done. Jesus said you are to take one or two more people that your brother deeply respects with you and go to your brother a second time. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church and go to your brother a third time. Now the congregation is involved. Your brother can either change his heart and ways and return to fellowship with the church or persist in his sins and stand against the church.

In Galatians 6:1-2, we are told who should restore someone caught in a sin and how they should do it. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.“

Relationships with nonbelievers: grace and witnessing

Our interactions with nonbelievers should be characterized by grace, respect, and an opportunity to share the Gospel. Jesus displayed compassion toward those who didn’t yet know Him, modeling how we should engage with those outside the faith (Matthew 5:16). 1 Peter 3:15 encourages us to always be ready to give an answer for the hope that we have, doing so with gentleness and respect.

As you witness to others about Jesus Christ, you will undoubtedly encounter some people who will be open to hearing the truth. However, there will also be those who will not welcome you or listen to your words. Matthew 10:11-14 instructs us to let our peace remain on the former ones, but let our peace return to us in the case of the latter ones. Matthew 7:6 tells us not to “throw your pearls to pigs”, and Proverbs 26:11 says “As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly”. Therefore, Christians shouldn’t waste their time continuing to witness to those who are clearly opposed to the truth of the Gospel.

Relationships with family members: honor and love

God’s Word emphasizes honoring our parents (Ephesians 6:1-3), loving our family members (1 Timothy 5:8), and maintaining unity within our homes (Colossians 3:20-21). Balancing faith convictions with familial bonds requires grace and prayerful consideration, reflecting Christ’s love and truth in our interactions.

Family

Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8).

God’s family comes before earthly families

Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him.  A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.”  “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:31-35).

Family peace and the priority of love

“Do not suppose that I [Jesus] have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father,
    a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—
    a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

 “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:34-37).

Husbands and wives

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:25-28).

Children and parents

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1-3).

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

Relationships with those in authority: submission and respect

Scripture instructs us to submit to governmental authorities (Romans 13:1-7) and respect those in positions of leadership (1 Timothy 2:1-2). Our conduct should exemplify a respect for order and a commitment to honoring God through our obedience.

Submit to the governing authorities

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves (Romans 13:1-2).

This passage emphasizes the importance of submitting to governmental authorities, as they are established by God’s sovereignty. Believers are encouraged to pay taxes, show respect, and fulfill their civic duties.

Obedience by workers and fairness by those who manage them

Employees: Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism (Colossians 3:22-25).

Employers: Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven (Colossians 4:1).

Obedience to human authorities is never permitted if it means disobedience to God

Peter and John were taken before the Jewish religious leaders and commanded not to speak or teach any longer in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges!” (Acts 4:19) And after further threats, they let them go.

Since there is no authority that is not been instituted by God, anything commanded by human authority to do, which is prohibited by God, must not be done. And anything God commands us to do, that they command us not to do, must be done. God’s will always comes before man’s will.

Relationships with false teachers and those who are opposed to Christ: discernment and love

While we are to guard against false teachings and stand firm in the truth, our approach should be marked by discernment and love. We must be cautious of false teachings (Matthew 7:15-16) and avoid endorsing them (2 John 1:9-11). Nevertheless, we are called to pray for our enemies and respond with love and grace (Matthew 5:44-45).

Separate spiritually from false teachers

Jesus warned us in Matthew 7:15 to beware of false prophets who appear as sheep but are actually ravenous wolves. Discernment is crucial as we encounter teachings that deviate from the truth of the Gospel. We must evaluate the fruit of their teachings and discern whether they align with the core principles of Christ.

In Romans 16:17-18, Paul exhorts us to watch out for those who cause divisions and to avoid them. We are called to uphold the integrity of Christ’s teachings and avoid any teachings or actions that contradict His message of love and unity.

2 John 1:9-11 encourages us not to receive or support false teachers, as doing so can unintentionally endorse their deceitful ways. While we maintain love and compassion, we must also guard our faith against teachings that can erode our foundation in Christ.

Responding with love and prayer

As challenging as it may be, Matthew 5:44-45 reminds us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Our response to enemies of Christ should not be rooted in bitterness or retaliation, but rather in love and prayer. This approach displays the transformative power of Christ’s love in our lives.

Our interactions should reflect the character of Christ. As opportunities arise, we should seek to engage in meaningful conversations that share the hope and grace found in the Gospel.

Maintain unity and pray for discernment among believers

False teachings and enemies of Christ may seek to divide believers. Ephesians 4:3 calls us to maintain the unity of the Spirit, resisting any attempts to create discord. Our unity testifies to the transformative power of Christ’s love and draws others to Him.

Lastly, we must remember that discernment comes from God. We should earnestly pray for wisdom and understanding as we navigate relationships with false teachers and those who oppose Christ. Through prayer, we invite God’s guidance and protection into these challenging situations.