Hurt and unforgiveness can weigh heavily on our hearts, hindering our emotional and spiritual growth. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to recognize the impact of holding onto these negative emotions and to embrace the liberating power of forgiveness. In this blog post, we will explore the key learnings of recognizing the effects of holding onto hurt and unforgiveness, understanding God’s command to forgive, and the freedom it brings. We will also delve into practical steps to heal from past hurts, extend forgiveness, and experience God’s restoration, all guided by relevant Scriptures like Matthew 6:14-15 and Ephesians 4:31-32.
Offering real forgiveness to others, however, often depends on having personally experienced God’s forgiveness of your sins against Him. Finding peace with God and knowing that God has forgiven you is the first step towards true liberty!
Recognizing the Impact of Holding onto Hurt and Unforgiveness
Holding onto hurt and unforgiveness can create a heavy burden within us. It fills our hearts with bitterness, resentment, and anger, which can negatively affect our overall well-being, relationships, and even our spiritual walk. The Bible warns against harboring unforgiveness, as it can hinder our prayers and obstruct God’s grace in our lives.
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
When we cling to past hurts, we unknowingly imprison ourselves in a cycle of pain, preventing us from experiencing the abundant life God intends for us.
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”
C.S. Lewis
Understanding God’s Command to Forgive
As Christians, we are called to let go of bitterness, wrath, anger, and slander. We are to model our lives after Christ, who exemplified forgiveness on the cross. While being crucified, Jesus prayed for His executioners, saying, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34 NIV). Despite the excruciating pain and injustice, Jesus extended forgiveness and grace to those who crucified Him, highlighting the depth of God’s love and His desire for reconciliation.
Matthew 6:14-15 highlights that forgiveness is not optional but essential for our relationship with God. Just as God forgives us through Christ, we are called to forgive others. Ephesians 4:31-32 instructs us to let go of bitterness, wrath, and anger, replacing them with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness. Embracing forgiveness is an act of obedience to God’s command and a reflection of His love and grace.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
Further commands of God to forgive
Several other Scriptures in the Bible also speak to us about the importance of forgiving others. Let’s explore some of these verses:
- Colossians 3:13: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
- Luke 6:37: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
- Mark 11:25: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
- Romans 12:17-18: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
- Proverbs 19:11: “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
- 1 Peter 3:9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
- Matthew 5:43-44: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
- Romans 12:19-21: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
The Freedom of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is not only an act of obedience but also a path to freedom. When we forgive others, we release ourselves from the chains of hurt and resentment, allowing God’s healing to flow into our hearts. Choosing to forgive does not justify the wrongdoings of others but empowers us to break free from their hold on our lives. Through forgiveness, we experience God’s transformative power, which enables us to find peace, restoration, and renewed relationships.
“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness.”
Corrie ten Boom
“Let go to Grow“
Biblical examples of Forgiveness
Joseph’s Forgiveness (Genesis 37-50)
The story of Joseph is a powerful illustration of forgiveness. Joseph’s brothers were jealous of him and sold him into slavery. He endured years of hardship and injustice but eventually rose to prominence in Egypt. When Joseph’s brothers came to Egypt seeking food during a famine, they didn’t recognize him. Instead of seeking revenge, Joseph chose to forgive his brothers, acknowledging that God had a higher purpose in their actions. He famously said to them, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20, NIV). Joseph’s forgiveness brought reconciliation and healing to his family.
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:21-35)
In this parable, Jesus taught about the importance of forgiving others as God forgives us. The story revolves around a servant who owed an enormous debt to his master. When he begged for mercy, the master forgave his debt entirely. However, that same servant later refused to forgive a fellow servant who owed him a much smaller amount. When the master learned of this, he was furious and handed the unforgiving servant over to be tortured until he repaid his debt. Jesus concluded the parable by saying, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart” (Matthew 18:35). The lesson is clear: we are called to forgive others, just as God has forgiven us.
Stephen’s Forgiveness (Acts 7:54-60)
Stephen was a follower of Jesus who became the first Christian martyr. As he was being stoned to death for his faith, he exemplified remarkable forgiveness. In the midst of his suffering, Stephen prayed, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). This prayer echoed Jesus’ words from the cross when He prayed for His executioners (Luke 23:34). Stephen’s act of forgiveness demonstrated the transformative power of God’s grace even in the face of severe adversity.
Practical Steps to Heal and Forgive
- Prayer and Surrender: Begin the healing process by surrendering your hurts to God in prayer. Pour out your feelings honestly, and ask God for the strength to forgive and let go.
- Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on the impact of holding onto hurt and unforgiveness in your life. Understand that forgiveness is for your benefit and well-being, not a condoning of the wrongs committed.
- Extend Forgiveness: Make a conscious decision to forgive the person who hurt you. Remember that forgiveness is a process, and it may take time to fully let go.
- Set Boundaries: If necessary, set healthy boundaries with the person who hurt you to protect yourself from future harm.
- Lean on Scripture: Meditate on verses like Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:13, and Matthew 6:14-15 to gain a deeper understanding of forgiveness and God’s heart on the matter.
- Seek Support: Surround yourself with a supportive community of believers who can offer encouragement, prayer, and wisdom as you navigate the healing journey.
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past–but you sure do change the future.”
Bernard Meltzer
Foregiveness frees us to experience an abundant life.
Choosing to heal from hurt and extend forgiveness is a transformative journey that leads to freedom, restoration, and a deeper relationship with God. By recognizing the impact of holding onto hurt and embracing God’s command to forgive, we can experience the abundant life that Christ offers. As we apply practical steps to heal and forgive, guided by Scripture like Matthew 6:14-15 and Ephesians 4:31-32, we open ourselves to God’s healing grace and restoration, walking in the freedom and peace that only He can provide.
“Forgive to Live“
