Augustine did not come to Christianity by a straightforward path. At an early age he began searching for the truth in the popular pagan philosophies and cults of his day. His young life was also scarred by immorality. Ultimately, Augustine discovered that truth can only be found in Jesus Christ.
Augustine searched for truth in all the wrong places
Aurelius Augustine was born in 354 at Tagaste, in Numidia (modern-day Algeria), North Africa. His father, Patricius, was a non-believer and his mother, Monica, was a devout Christian. They could tell from early in life that Augustine was an exceptionally bright child. He was inquisitive and possessed an attractive personality. So, they did whatever they could to give him the best education possible.
“Following studies in Tagaste and later in Carthage, Augustine became a teacher of rhetoric, first in his native town, then in Rome and finally in Milan.”1https://www.augustinian.org/saint-augustine
His mother strongly encouraged Augustine early in life. But to her disappointment, he left his Christian heritage to pursue the Manichean sect. (Manicheanism was based on a supposed primordial conflict between light and darkness, or goodness and evil.)
In Carthage, he found sexual temptations irresistible. He fell in love with a girl, who bore him a son, Adeodatus. They lived together for thirteen years, but Augustine always felt that sex was his defiling passion. It marked the depravity from which he later felt himself rescued by God’s grace.2Shelley, Bruce L., Church History in Plain Language, Word Publishing, 1995, P.125
The path that led Augustine to believe the truth of Christianity
Cicero’s postmortem impact that converted Augustine to love wisdom
Cicero, who lived from 106 B.C. to 43 B.C., played a very important role in preparing for Augustine’s conversion to Christianity. At the age of 19, Augustine first read Cicero’s Hortensius. In this work, Cicero argues as earnestly as he can for the study of philosophy, which stands for the pursuit of wisdom.
In describing his newfound love for the search of wisdom, Augustine writes:
In this book of his, entitled Hortensius, he urgently commends the study of philosophy. That work did renovate my attitude; it changed my please, directing them to you, Master, and altered my aspirations and desires. Suddenly all my empty ambition was deeply discounted, and with an unbelievable seething of my heart I longed for everlasting wisdom. I began to pick myself up so that I could return to you. It wasn’t to sharpening my tongue–though this was my purported purpose, for which the tuition financed by my mother went at this time, when I was eighteen, my father having died three years before–it wasn’t, I repeat, to sharpening my tongue that I applied that book; and it wasn’t the style in which it spoke, but what it said that persuaded me.
How I burned, my God, how I burned to fly back from these earthly places to you, even though I didn’t know what you would do with me! But wisdom is with you. The Greek name philosophia means “love of wisdom,” and this love set me on fire through Cicero’s treatise.
Confessions 3
St. Anthony of Egypt’s life of deep asceticism and prayer inspired Augustine
In Confessions, Augustine describes how he was introduced to St. Anthony. Alypius and Augustine are visited by Ponticianus, who tells the story of how two of his friends had been converted while reading the Life of St. Antony (chapter 6). This story prompts Augustine to ponder his own conflict of wills and analyze his spiritual state (chapter 7).3https://www.wheaton.edu/academics/the-liberal-arts-at-wheaton-college/christ-at-the-core-liberal-arts-at-wheaton/core-book/2018-2019-core-book-confessions/confessions-reading-guide/book-8-augustines-conversion/
The story of St. Anthony of Egypt
St. Anthony of Egypt was born to wealthy parents, and, being orphaned at the age of 20, he inherited all their possessions. When he heard the words, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions” (Matthew 19:21), he immediately sold all that he had so that he could pursue holiness through a life of asceticism. At the time, ascetics lived their vocation to austerity and chastity within the community, and this is how St. Anthony began his life.
During this time, he lived in a cave, and experienced temptations and attacks from demons, as famously described in St. Athanasius’s Life of St. Anthony. Eventually, however, he decided to pursue a deeper life of holiness, and he crossed into Egypt, living alone without seeing another human soul for 20 years. Soon, others began to join him in huts, and after much persuasion, he acquiesced to their requests that he instruct them in the spiritual life. St. Anthony is honored as the father of both monasticism and religious life in general, due to his extreme austerity and devotion to growing in holiness.4https://catholicexchange.com/pursuing-asceticism-st-augustine-st-anthony-egypt/
Augustine’s anguishing response in reflecting over his own life
St. Augustine, hearing this story from Ponticianus, began to reflect on his own life and think about how he was living for worldly gain. Augustine was in anguish upon hearing this story, for he could not look at himself, “twisted and unclean and spotted and ulcerous” (Chapter 7). He knew that he was living in sin, but he could not turn to God. As he writes, he was 19 years old when he first read Cicero’s Hortensius and he wrote,
here was I still postponing the giving up of this world’s happiness to devote myself to the search for that of which not the finding only but the mere seeking is better than to find all the treasures and kingdoms of men, better than all the body’s pleasures though they were to be had merely for a nod (VII.VI.17).
Confessions 75ibid
The philosophy of Neoplatonism’s effect on Augustine’s concept of God
Before Augustine could convert to Christianity, he needed to reconstruct his metaphysical understanding of reality. He was influenced by his Neoplatonic readings and the letters of the apostle Paul. So, he began to replace the Manichaeism’s concept of a universe dominated by two competing forces of good and evil with a derivation of the Neoplatonist version of the ultimate being.
Augustine began to formulate a concept of God that would ultimately include the transcendence and immateriality of God; the non-spatial omnipresence of the intelligible in the sensible; and the causal presence of God in creation.6https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/augustine/#PhilTradAuguPlat
A distinctly Platonic element is the notion of intellectual or spiritual ascent. Augustine thinks that by turning inwards and upwards from bodies to soul (i.e., from knowledge of objects to self-knowledge) and from the sensible to the intelligible we will finally be able to transcend ourselves and get in touch with the supreme being that is none other than God and Truth and that is more internal to us than our innermost self.7ibid
The impact of Bishop Ambrose of Milan on Augustine
In 384, Augustine was given a prestigious position as a rhetoric professor at the Imperial Court in Milan. While in Milan, he began to become more skeptical of his Manichean faith. Bishop Ambrose of Milan had a major influence on Augustine’s life as he journeyed from heresy to orthodoxy and from immorality to celibacy.
Ambrose was able to attract Augustine to his services by living an exemplary life worthy of Augustine’s admiration. At the start, Augustine came to listen to Ambrose preach to see if his eloquence lived up to his reputation. The content of what Ambrose preached was less of a focal point for Augustine. But as time went by, Augustine continued to attend the services. The admiration and love of the people for Ambrose kindled admiration and affection within Augustine for Ambrose.8https://jamespaulgaard.com/2009/02/09/the-impact-of-ambrose-of-milan-on-the-young-augustine/
Augustine’s two remaining objections to the Christian faith
Augustine had two objections to Christianity. The first one was what he thought was the unworthiness of the Christian Scriptures. He was unimpressed by what he read, particularly with the Old Testament. He was apparently repelled by its vindictiveness and earthiness. The second objection was the problem of evil.
The first objection was overcome by the qualities he admired in Ambrose. He lived an exemplary life, a devoted servant, and knowledgeable philosopher, who was loved and admired by all. And Ambrose was able to make allegorical interpretations that revealed deeper truth to Augustine. It now appeared to him that the Christian faith could be maintained on reasonable grounds. From this point on, Augustine began to prefer the Catholic faith.9ibid
Augustine worked out the problem of evil in his own mind by studying with some of the Platonist philosophers in Milan. He concluded that evil is not a substance or force, but rather a “perversity of the will turning away” from God toward lower things. He explained how evil works in humans by developing the doctrine of original sin. In his reading of Paul, which speaks of the sin that dwells in us, he acknowledged that he was a son of Adam and therefore he was suffering for Adam’s sin, which was more freely committed.
Despair over his own sin brought Augustine to Christ
Having been satisfied with the truthfulness of the Christian faith, Augustine had one remaining obstacle to overcome. He was battling within himself over his own wickedness that kept him bound up. With his loyal friend, Alypius, the two went into the quietness of a garden. And in his grief, Augustine found a place of solitude, as he poured out his tears before the Lord.
Augustine’s conversion story in his own words
I was greatly disturbed in spirit, angry at myself with a turbulent indignation because I had not entered thy will and covenant, Oh my God, while all my bones cried out to me to enter, extolling it to the skies… For to go along that road and indeed to reach the goal is nothing else but the will to go. But it must be a strong and single will, not staggering and swaying about this way and that–a changeable, twisting, fluctuating will, wrestling with itself while one part falls as another rises…
I cried to thee: “And thou, O Lord, how long? How long, O Lord? Wilt thou be angry forever? Oh, remember not against us our former iniquities.” For I felt that I was still enthralled by them. I sent up these sorrowful cries: “How long, how long? Tomorrow and tomorrow? Why not now? Why not this very hour make and end to my uncleanness?
I was saying these thing and weeping in the most bitter contrition of my heart, when suddenly I heard the voice of a boy or girl–I know not which–coming from the neighboring house, chanting over and over again, “Pick it up, read it; pick it up, read it.” …So damming the torrent of my tears, I got to my feet, for I could not but think that this was a divine command to open the Bible and read the first passage I should light upon…
I snatched it up, opened it, and in silence read the paragraph on which my eyes first fell: “Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof.”10Matthew 13:13 I wanted to read no further, nor did I need to. For instantly, as the sentence ended, there was infused in my heart something like the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away.
Confessions 7
His pursuit of a monastic way of life was interrupted by God’s call
Bishop Ambrose of Milan baptized Augustine, his friend Alypius, and his son Adeodatus on the eve of the following Easter, 387. He said, “The unrest of our past life receded from us.”11Shelley, Page 127 Some months later, Augustine and his mother, Monica, set out to return to his native town in North Africa, where he wished to pursue a monastic style of life.
But on his journey, his mother became sick and died just outside of Rome. However, she died happily since she had witnessed Augustine’s total commitment to Christ and the Church. The example, prayers, and influence of Monica had no little part to play in the drama of her son’s spiritual itinerary, and Augustine attributes to her his conversion to the Catholic faith.
In the fall of 388, once settled in Tagaste, his son also died, which only added to the grief he had felt when his mother died. He gave away his wealth to the poor and converted his house into a monastic foundation for himself and a group of like-minded Christians. But contrary to his own desires to live a quiet life of piety, Augustine was called to become a priest three years later while on a visit to the city of Hippo. He chose to accept the call, believing it to be God’s will for him. And several years later, Augustine succeeded Valerius as head of the diocese.12https://www.augustinian.org/saint-augustine
Augustine’s unparalleled contribution to Christian thought
Augustine served Christ and the Church by the use of his great intellect in settling matters of significance in his day. Moreover, he has since become a trusted source of Christian thought for the great theologians throughout Christian history. Some of his most significant contributions include the Donatist controversy, the Pelagian debate, and the relations between earthly cities and the City of God.
The Donatist Controversy
The Donatists believed that they, rather than the Catholics, constituted the true church of Christ. They maintained that the purity of the church demanded unflinching loyalty of the bishops of the church. So, the Catholic church could not effectively administer the sacraments, because certain Catholic bishops handed over the Scriptures to be burned during the persecution under Diocletian.
But Augustine insisted that the sacrament doesn’t belong to the minister but to Christ. The priest’s acts are really God’s because He has placed the sacraments in the hands of the properly ordained minister. The priest is only the channel for grace to the members of the church.13Shelley, page 128
The Pelagian debate over sin and grace
Pelagius was a British monk, who came to the region dominated by Augustine, along with his disciple, Coelestius, who had hoped to be ordained as a priest in Carthage. While Pelagius views on the nature of man were repudiated by Augustine, Pelagius found more acceptance of them in the East. As this controversy heated up, Augustine debated the views of Pelagius in order to settle the matter for the church.
Pelagius denied that human sin is inherited from Adam. He taught that man is free to act righteously or sinfully. Pelagius also denied that death is a consequence of sin. He said Adam introduced sin into the world, but only by his corrupting example. Though almost all people have sinned, it is still possible not to sin, and some people have lived their lives without sin.
Of course, this viewpoint was in sharp contract to Augustine’s personal experience. So, he argued that the whole human race was “in Adam” and shared in his fall. He said, every individual, from earliest infancy to old age, deserves nothing but damnation. Therefore, all power to do good must be the free gift of God by His grace.
By 419, the Pelagians were banished by the Emperor Honorius, and in 431 they were condemned by the General Council of the Church meeting at Ephesus.14ibid, page 12915
The intermingling of the city of man and the City of God
In response to the news that Rome had been sacked in 410, Augustine addressed the question of the relations between earthly cities, like Rome, which will inevitably rise and fall over time, and the Heavenly city, which will last forever. This endeavor occupied Augustine for sixteen years, almost until his death.
He wrote that all humanity falls into two cities: the godless mass of people, who live the life of earthly men; and the group of spiritual mankind, who are born of grace and called to the City of God for all eternity. Whereas, the Worldly City is united by common love for temporal things, the City of God is bound together by the love of God. “The Heavenly City outshines Rome by comparison. There, instead of victory is truth; instead of high rank, holiness; instead of peace, felicity; instead of life, eternity….”
Augustine viewed the church as the only community that works to build up the City of God. The state’s role is to suppress crime and preserve peace. But the state must submit to the laws of the Christian church, because the state is based on the power of sin. This grand vision became the most treasured work of Augustine throughout the early Middle Ages. It offered a spiritual interpretation to the woes the world was facing.
Reflections on Augustine’s conversion
Family influence
A strong Christian influence in the family instills familiarity with God’s Word to the young. Augustine’s mother was a devout Catholic, who did what she could to teach her son about the faith she loved. After Augustine was converted to Christianity, he attributed his conversion largely to the prayers and influence she played throughout his life.
Personal characteristics
God can use our individual characteristics to lead us to Christ and to be effective in our service to Him. It’s been noted that Augustine was bright, inquisitive, and possessed a pleasant personality. While both he and his parents hoped that these qualities would bring him wealth and influence, God ultimately used them to battle heretical teaching and guide the church along the right path.
Anguish over sin
The shame we should feel over our moral deficiencies should drive us to find a solution for ourselves. Augustine knew that he was living in sin, but he also knew he couldn’t turn to God in his own strength. He also knew he had to have a strong will to commit to the life God would require of him. But his will was double-minded; It staggered and strayed from one direction to another.
Pursuit of truth
A pursuit of the truth begins with the belief that truth is knowable and it can be found. Once this is accepted, nothing should take a greater priority than our search for it. Augustine’s reading of Cicero’s Hortensius altered his aspirations and desires. He wrote in Confessions 3, “Suddenly all my empty ambition was deeply discounted, and with an unbelievable seething in my heart I longed for everlasting wisdom.”
Personal examples to emulate
Having someone you can look up to that seems to epitomize the ideal life you’re seeking brings a tangible conception to an otherwise abstract notion. There have been many saints who have gone into some form of wilderness to live ascetically for the purpose of growing in deeper holiness and inspiring others to abandon lives of sin. St. Anthony of Egypt became that inspiration for Augustine and was a great catalyst for Augustine’s conversion.
Objections of faith to overcome
For saving faith to be real, it must not be contrary to our reason. Our genuine objections must to be answered to our satisfaction. Two objections to the Christian faith had to be answered satisfactorily before Augustine was ready to make a strong, life-long commitment to the demands of being a Christian. Bishop Ambrose was able to show Augustine the spiritual value of the Scriptures, and Augustine himself seemed to have reconstructed the concept of evil to his own satisfaction.
Desperate plea for God’s mercy
We can’t just force ourselves into the Kingdom of God. We must recognize our inability to satisfy God’s requirements on our own, and cry out to Him for His mercy. Augustine knew he was still enthralled with the sin that characterized his past life, and he couldn’t do anything about it. He was helpless to leave his old life behind to follow Christ. So, he cried out to God for Him to do what only He can do–change Augustine’s heart. And God did just that through the child’s voice to “pick it up, read it” and the power of the Spirit acting through the Word of God.
Realignment of life to fulfill God’s will
Once we’re saved, our life belongs to God. Though we may have our own preferences, God’s will must override them if we’re going to follow Him. After Augustine’s conversion, he set out to live a quiet, monastic life. However, God had other plans for him. Not long after he returned to his home town, he was called to the priesthood in the city of Hippo. So Augustine agreed to change his original plans and become a priest, because he believed it was God’s will for him to do so. And at the right time, he was later appointed bishop.
Inevitable fruit that flows from an obedient life
As we trust and obey Christ, He will ensure that we will be productive in our service to Him. God ensured that Augustine was the right man in the right place at the right time. His great intellect helped him battle through the heresies that threatened to derail the church in his own day. And he’s regarded by many to be the greatest theologian in the Church age since the apostle Paul.
Are you still in bondage to your own sin?
Although we all have free will, our free will has its limits. We can only choose to do what we most want to do at the time of our choosing. So you might ask, “What’s wrong with that”? The problem is that even though we can freely choose, our choices are limited to what we, as sinners, want. We don’t necessarily have the “liberty” to choose what we “ought” to do. For example, we cannot keep God’s commandments, unless God changes our heart to place his will above our own.
If you anguish over your sin and your bondage to it, cry out to God for His mercy. You must receive the new birth that Jesus spoke to Nicodemus about in John 3:3-9. To take the next step toward your own conversion, go to my blog, How to Begin Your Life Over Again. God bless you as you press on to seek Him. He is not far from any of us.
References
- 1
- 2Shelley, Bruce L., Church History in Plain Language, Word Publishing, 1995, P.125
- 3https://www.wheaton.edu/academics/the-liberal-arts-at-wheaton-college/christ-at-the-core-liberal-arts-at-wheaton/core-book/2018-2019-core-book-confessions/confessions-reading-guide/book-8-augustines-conversion/
- 4https://catholicexchange.com/pursuing-asceticism-st-augustine-st-anthony-egypt/
- 5ibid
- 6
- 7ibid
- 8
- 9ibid
- 10Matthew 13:13
- 11Shelley, Page 127
- 12
- 13Shelley, page 128
- 14
- 15
